I did so well there for awhile. Easter was a stumbling block which lasted a few days. I got back on track and stumbled again… I am clawing my way. I miss my food peace and am so glad to know it's only a few days away now.
I don't really have wise words right now. I just want to keep myself honest and accountable. I keep slipping first on non-sweet carbs. Somehow my mind tells me, "well, they're not sweet, so they're not so bad…?" It's B.S. of course. A bagel will spike my insulin levels as high as an ice cream cone. Then even though I didn't have sugar, I'll crave it -- a result of the plummeting blood sugar that follows my spikes. I may be able to lie to my mind for a moment to rationalize a cheat, but I can't lie to my body. It's truth is a roller coaster of blood sugar and insulin, no matter what I tell myself about it.
I saw research this week that said Insulin Resistance has been determined to be a root cause of Alzheimer's. I already knew it was a direct line to Type 2 diabetes, heart disease, stroke, cancer… Even if my weight is normal, my insulin resistance is still a big problem.
I never do well when I try and scare myself 'straight,' so I won't dwell on that, but I'm mentioning it here because it those thoughts enter my mind a lot.
I always do best when I align myself with spirit. My 12-step work, my work on loving myself, and my focus on being a conduit for love in the world usually center me the most. That's what I've been focusing on as I get back on track this time around.
Oh, and I forgot to mention that my home scale died a LONG time ago, and I've procrastinated replacing it because I tell myself I have scales at work. But I'm going to tattle on myself… I skip my weigh-ins a lot. I intend to weigh in at work, but I forget. I justify it by gauging how my clothes are feeling and guessing whether I'm up or down. I promise myself I'll weigh the next day… but the way it really works is I go long periods without weighing myself and I already know that's a huge red flag. It's a red flag for my clients (especially my maintainers) and it's just as big a one for me. I ordered a new scale for my house today and I'm going to commit to weighing daily from here on out - no matter how I'm doing. Good, bad and ugly. It's something I need to do.
Hope you all are doing well. Thanks for reading.